by Ihor Magun, MD, FACP
Recent times have been challenging, making us feel that happiness seems elusive.
As a result, our lives have been affected and continue to be affected in many ways, often causing a kind of mental gymnastic workout. This phenomenon can be frustrating and annoying, and even scary, but these challenges can actually make us look at things in a completely different way, a way that enables us to get over those hurdles. It's also important to remember that happiness isn't something we should wait for. True happiness is something we should embrace, foster, and cultivate. Here are some suggestions to get you back on the happiness track.
Many of us feel stuck, whether in a boring job or in a bad relationship or just not feeling that "happy state of mind." As it turns out, our attempts to rise above this don't work very well because we may be aiming for the wrong things. Rather than focusing totally on achieving fame, great wealth, or other hard-to-reach goals, it is better to focus more on personal growth, otherwise known as intrinsic goals.
Related studies have shown that individuals with intrinsic personal growth goals have fewer signs of stress and have a better sense of self-esteem and well-being. In short, they succeed at what truly matters, and that is what brings them that very pleasant feeling of happiness.
So, what is personal growth? You can find the answer to this by thinking of all the personal areas in your life that truly make you feel happy. When you know what these are, focus on them and expand on them. You may think this is a classic "easier said than done" plan, but it is a method that works if you avoid certain things and focus energy on what truly matters. For example, it's common to fall into a trap of thinking that we will be happy when this or that happens. But this type of reasoning is flawed because, instead of enjoying the present, we are pushing happiness into some time in the future. Instead, focus on the "now" and zero in on all the good that is in your life - I'm certain this will put a smile on your face and put you on the right road.
Look for a bright spot every day. Take a photo of something you like and find a photo you already have (preferably a photo of something that makes you feel good.) Give it a week and look at those photos again. This exercise trains your brain to watch for moments to capture and refocuses your attention on the positive parts of the day.
Something else to focus on is to remember that the happiest people naturally form the most meaningful relationships. They start conversations with a positive comment. For example, instead of saying "What a lousy, rainy day," happy people are more likely to say, "Hope we see a nice rainbows today." Doing this may feel a bit awkward at first, but you will soon find that this shift fosters positive connections.
Another good tactic is to make personal time your "special happiness time." It can be fifteen minutes or whatever time you can dedicate. Learn to meditate. No interruptions or electronic devices. The only tool you will need is your breath. Take a dep breath and slowly exhale. Be aware that when you exhale longer than you inhale, the vagus nerve tells the nervous system to relax. This lowers your heart rate and blood pressure, and the entire body physically calms down. This breathing exercise should be repeated at least ten times with three-second pauses between breaths. It can produce a happy, calming feeling.
Paying attention to nature is also beneficial. This can be at a local park or even looking at trees on your street or at anything in nature. What you see that is personally pleasing to you can invigorate you and boost your happiness level.
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